


Villainy and Vanilla Extract

by dustofwarfare



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Gen, Lacrosse, Ridiculous AU, sephiroth teaches home ec
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-07
Updated: 2017-12-07
Packaged: 2019-02-11 15:03:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12937818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dustofwarfare/pseuds/dustofwarfare
Summary: In which freshman Cloud Strife navigates his first week at Shinra High, and maybe falls in love with a senior in his home ec class. Or the teacher. Or maybe both.





	Villainy and Vanilla Extract

**Author's Note:**

> I found this in my google docs. I apparently wrote it in 2014 and never posted it. 
> 
> I don't know why Sephiroth is the home economics teacher, but I bet he's very good at slicing things...? 
> 
> (this is very silly)

So far, being a freshman isn’t too bad. 

Shinra High is way bigger than Niebel Junior, and it’s confusing to get around but that’s all right, the teachers are pretty forgiving when the freshmen come in a few minutes late looking harried and flustered, seeing as how it’s the first week. Cloud and Tifa have the same lunch period, which is a relief, and they sit at a table with a blonde girl named Elena and an exchange student from Wutai named Yuffie. 

Yuffie tries to steal his lunch money every day, so Cloud’s not sure he likes her very much. 

Elena keeps shooting glares at her older sister, who is sitting with a group of older kids Cloud doesn’t know. “They want me to sit with them,” she says, slamming her tray down on their table. “But I’m not going to. I can make my own friends.” She glares at them. “ _You’re_ my friends, all right?” 

There’s really nothing much to do there but agree, and besides, Elena is funny. And she doesn’t steal Cloud’s money, so he likes her a lot better than Yuffie. 

At least, he does until she grabs his schedule and starts giggling at his first class after lunch. “What, seriously,you’re in _home economics_?” 

Cloud scowls, grabbing the piece of paper and trying not to get anything on it. “Yeah,” he says, defensively. “Shop class was full.” 

“You could have just taken study hall,” Elena says. “You knew that, right?” 

He didn’t, but he’s not telling the bossy blonde girl that. “Yeah. M’gonna get my electives out of the way, so I can take AP classes my last two years. I want to go to Midgar University after I graduate.” 

“That’s like, impossible to get into,” Elena informs him. “You better learn how to bake some really good cookies.” 

Tifa giggles, and Cloud glares at her, feeling betrayed. “What?” she says, shrugging. “He’s just mad because I got the last spot in shop class,” she tells Elena, and the two girls grin. 

“I gotta go,” Cloud says, and stands up. He shoves his schedule in his pocket, grabs his bookbag, then holds his hand out to Yuffie. “C’mon.”

“I don’t--” 

“Seriously, come _on_ ,” Cloud says, and Yuffie sighs and hands him the gil she’d taken from his bookbag. “Ask next time, geez.” 

“But that’s not as much fun!” she pouts, arms crossing in a huff. 

“Too bad,” says Cloud, but he’s not really that mad. Maybe high school isn’t going to be too bad. He was just sitting at a table with three girls, after all, and Yuffie’s annoying but she’s definitely cute. 

_I’m pretty sure she’s cute_ ,Cloud thinks, shifting his bookbag to his other shoulder. _I mean, she is, right?_

Cloud has some things he has to think about. As usual, when there are important life-lessons to be learned, he closes his eyes and runs in the other direction. It has a fifty-fifty chance of working out, most of the time. 

This is not one of those times, which he realizes after the bell rings and he’s still looking for his class. Just as he is about to give up and just duck into the next classroom he comes to (unless it’s biology -- one class a day with that creepy Mr. Hojo is enough, thanks) when he turns a corner and runs into someone. 

Or, rather, they run into _him_. Literally. 

Cloud is almost knocked back into the row of lockers in the hallway by a tall, dark-haired kid who apparently has no control over his fine motor skills. “Ooph!” 

“Oh! Hey, sorry! Sorry!” The kid unravels his miles of limbs and there’s suddenly hands on him, everywhere, and Cloud is blushing furiously as the kid manages to get them disentangled. “I should watch where I’m going, but I’m totally late. I’m Zack!” He holds his hand out with a grin. 

“Um,” Cloud says, trying to play it cool and pretend he isn’t drowning in the depths of the kid’s gorgeous, clear blue eyes. “Don’t you need to get to class?” 

“That’s a weird name, _um_. Short but sweet! And nah,” Zack says, slinging an arm around him, “I mean, yeah, but I almost killed you! Besides, I’m a senior.” 

Cloud nods, as if that makes sense, even though it doesn’t really. He’s pretty sure seniors still have to go to class. “I’m Cloud.”

“Nice to meet you! Where are you headed?” Zack asks, his arm still companionably around Cloud’s shoulders. “I’ll walk you there, and that can be my excuse for being late!” 

The sun is shining through the windows, shining down on Zack’s grinning face, and Cloud blinks up at him slowly and realizes he….doesn’t really have that much to think about, after all. This kid just barrelled into him and did all that bothersome soul-searching for him, because he’s the hottest guy Cloud has ever seen and, yeah, okay. 

He also realizes that, in addition to solving the dilemma of Cloud’s sexual orientation, Zack is going to walk him to his next class. Which is _home economics_. It’s on the tip of Cloud’s tongue to lie and tell him shop, but Zack sees the schedule sticking out of Cloud’s pocket and grabs it without asking. 

“Oh, haha! Home economics? Dude! I’m totally going there, too!” He pulls back to give Cloud a fistbump. “People laughed at me, but like, there’s gonna be so many cute girls in there! And baked goods! Why the hell would you _not_ want to be in home ec?”

So, Zack has just solved the mystery of Cloud’s sexual orientation _and_ broken his heart, all in their first meeting. Awesome. “Right.” 

Zack grins down at him, folds the paper and tucks it back in Cloud’s jeans. Cloud pretends his ears aren’t flaming red and keeps his eyes straight ahead, like he’s doing an eye exam at the doctor’s. “Sooooo, you signed up too late to get a spot in shop class, too, huh.”

Cloud turns his face up towards Zack’s and grins. The sun shines again, and everything seems like it might just be all right. “Yeah,” he says, laughing, and they fistbump again. 

For the next two minutes, Cloud Strife is the happiest he’s ever been in his whole life, walking through the mostly-empty hallways of Shinra High with Zack. He’s almost sad when they get to the classroom and Zack opens the door, because it means those two minutes are over. 

He’s not even that worried about walking into class late, not with Zack. Cloud still hates how everyone turns to look at them, but it’s so much better than being by himself….

And, it would seem luck is on their side -- the teacher isn’t even in class yet! “Phew! We lucked out, Cloud. C’mere, sit by me,” he says, tugging Cloud over to the only open seats, which happen to be in the front of the room. The seats are in sets of twos, connected by a counter with a sink, a lot of outlets, and two cabinets. 

Zack is in the middle of going through all the things in the cabinet when the door opens. 

The first thing Cloud notices about their teacher is the hair. It’s long, and silver, and it belongs to neither an old person nor a woman; both things, Cloud admits, he thought their home ec teacher would be. Instead, this is a tall, dangerous-looking man with the iciest green eyes Cloud has ever seen. 

“There has been a slight change,” the man says, and Cloud kicks Zack lightly to make him sit up. He does _not_ want to call any attention to himself in any way, shape or form. “Ms. Faramis is no longer your teacher. I will instructing you in home economics for the semester.”

The man smiles. Somewhere, Cloud is certain small children are weeping without knowing why. 

“My name is --” 

Zack sits up, hits his head on the counter, and blurts out, “ _Sephiroth_?” He rubs his hand over the back of his head and blinks. Then he grins. “You’re our home ec teacher?” 

Sephiroth -- Cloud doesn’t know if that’s a Mr., or what -- narrows those pale eyes at Zack. Great, Cloud has just met the love of his life, and now their beautiful home economics teacher is going to kill him. High school is fucking brutal. 

“Mr. Fair,” Sephiroth says, sighing. “Please try to remember we are not on the lacrosse field.” He turns and writes his name on the board, very slowly, in elegant -- and yet, still somehow dangerous -- script. “As I was saying, my name is Sephiroth. Please just refer to me as that, if you would.” 

“Yeah, don’t call him Seph,” Zack mutters, next to him. 

“I heard that, Mr. Fair.” 

“Sorry, sir,” Zack says, cheerfully. He catches Cloud’s look of horror and grins. “Don’t worry, buddy,” he says, grabbing at Cloud’s hair and tugging. (Of all the things Zack could be tugging -- no, this is not the time, why is Cloud even thinking about this now?) “He’s one of the lacrosse coaches. Him and Mr. Hewley and Mr. Rhapsodos, they were like, Shinra Lacrosse legends when they went to school here. Really first-class players.” 

“Why is he teaching home ec?” Cloud whispers back. He’s much better at whispering than Zack. 

Too good, apparently, because Zack doesn’t hear him. “Huh?”

Cloud repeats his question, slightly louder, trying to say it slowly. He really wishes they weren’t sitting in the front row. 

“Oh! I dunno. Here. Lemme ask.” Zack raises his hand. 

“No!” Cloud reaches out to stop him, and over-aims so that he slides and falls off the stool, right onto the floor. Oh, perfect. _Perfect_. 

There’s a bit of giggling, and then Zack reaches down to help him up. “Sorry!” 

“What, precisely, are you two doing?” Sephiroth asks, in that voice that sounds better suited to villainy than vanilla extract. “Mr. Fair, please help your classmate off of the floor and back into his seat.” 

He’s so fucked. And not in the fun way. Everything is terrible. Cloud gets to his feet, ignoring Zack’s proffered hand, and slides, red-faced, onto his chair.

“There we go,” says Zack, clapping Cloud on the shoulder as if the mere act of taking his seat is worthy of praise. With the way his congratulatory smack almost knocks him off again, maybe it is. “All present and accounted for, sir.” 

“And your name is….?” 

“Cloud Strife,” says Cloud, and usually he thinks his name is kind of stupid but he just told it to a dude named _Sephiroth_ , so maybe it’s not that bad. At least he got a last name. And it _is_ kind of badass. 

“Good to see you, Cloud,” Sephiroth says, and then those pale eyes turn towards the rest of the class at large. “Now. For our first lesson, we’ll be making….” Sephiroth looks at the book he’s holding and sighs. “Quiche.”


End file.
